I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I need a beard to bite.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
