I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
