so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
