ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
