well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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