Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize