once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you will always have a special place in my vag
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
