I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
