Rock
Scissors
Fuck
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
