I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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