So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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