Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
