I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
