I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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