I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
