You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
