But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
