idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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