And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize