she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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