it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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