And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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