why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
