This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize