Its about making memories worth repressing
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize