Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
