IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
