I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
