it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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