hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
