Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
