please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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