office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
