We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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