so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
