I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
