just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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