I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
