God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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