She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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