you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
