Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
