I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
