How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
When are your genitals available?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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