I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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