so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
