Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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