i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
