Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
