I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
