Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry johnlaw hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(770): View more from Georgia

She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.

Fav 9 3350 961
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(248): View more from Michigan

Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here

Fav 7 3011 1206
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(336): View more from North Carolina

All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!

Fav 3 1659 779
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(850): View more from Florida

Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model

Fav 5 1852 871
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room

Fav 13 1552 688
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.

Fav 0 905 585
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(303): View more from Colorado

And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink

Fav 0 526 684
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(205): View more from Alabama

She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out

Fav 0 56 5
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Your shit was massive.

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.

Fav 0 26 39
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