Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
