Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize