okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
