Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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