I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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