Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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