i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
