I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize