The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
