Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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