bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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