hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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